Not perfect!

I've been thinking about this post for a while now.

I got the idea from a fitness Facebook page I read - it linked to a blog with a post on the dangers of Perfection. It made me cry. It basically talked about how we are conditioned to see others as "perfect" all the time. And that we present "perfection" to the outside world but the reality is different. And what an impact all this "perfect" can have on a person.

I know some people are dealing with their demons at the moment. Life is tough for them and maybe they are comparing themselves to some ideal of "how life should be".

The post ends with a plea to tell people just how perfect you aren't. So that others know that they are not alone in their imperfection.

Blogs (and Facebook and the like) are funny things - through words and pictures you present a view of yourself to the world. And for the most part it's true. But I wouldn't want you all to think I'm some sunshiny, crunchy, organic wonder-woman, because that's not the truth!

So here, in all it's ingloriousness, is my list of how perfect I'm not:
  • I'm basically lazy. If I can find a way to put something off or better yet, avoid it, I'll do it.
  • I can literally spend the whole day on the computer, reading, checking Facebook, playing Cityville and avoiding real stuff.
  • However, if I get a bee in my bonnet about something, I am like a dog with a bone - I will not let it rest until I finish/get my way/achieve the goal.
  • I get grumpy with my kids and husband. I nag them, I'm short tempered with them. I occasionally yell.
  • I have a potty mouth! Not at work, not on here, but helped along by a couple of wines, the f-bomb is very common.
  • I drink too much wine. I love wine o'clock. Once the dinner is on it's way, the temptation to have a nice, chilled glass of sav blanc is often very tempting.
  • My marriage has ups and downs - we have times when we don't communicate very well and irritate the shit out of each other.
  • I hate confrontation. I would willingly bottle up all feelings to avoid upsetting someone.
  • I'm a crap listener - my brain is always whirring away with a billion thoughts and then planning how I can communicate them.
  • I am a champion sulker. Don't get my way? I can sulk for weeks, if needs be!
  • I don't do craft (much). Hate glitter.
  • Can't throw, can't catch.
  • My house is frequently messy - I don't have a problem with this (until it gets out of control), but it certainly is no "home beautiful". Don't make the beds, often leave the dishes until the morning.
I have lots of good traits too and you see the wonderful stuff we do through this blog. But I just wanted to let you all know "the other" me. Not perfect. But I reckon I'm OK and doing pretty good and making a positive difference to the world and my family. And that's what's really important!


  1. I swear like a sailor. And I've taught my kids that certain words are Grown Up Words to avoid that obnoxious finger pointing and taunting of "mommy said a bad word." Since I'm clearly a grown up, there's no discussion. Bad Mom For The Win!

    1. "no discussion!" - love that! You should hear me in the car....

  2. I love your honesty. If more people could be honest like this, I think we'd all have a whole lot less stress. I've got my own list, but since you don't know me at all :), I don't think it would add to the discussion. But, good for you for striking a chord for sanity.

    1. Thank you Annie! Less stress sounds pretty "darn" good to me!

  3. Love this post!
    Trade wine for beer, and sulking for smoking, and we could be twins.

    Especially after being a dancer (something else we have in common)
    accepting imperfection can be tough.

    I think one of the best things about aging is that I've finally learned to say F*** that to other people's expectations. It's a great thing.

    Cheers Ingi!

    1. I didn't add in there my large body - I have trouble coming to terms with that, because in my teens (and dancing) I never had an issue with weight - if anything, I was skinny! So my imperfect diet (and I include drinking in that) plus hormones plus aging means I have nowhere near a perfect body. It is very tough to take - still trying to say "f*** it" to that one!

      But most of the other stuff, well you just have to love all of me (even the bad bits)!


  4. yeah, I'm rounding out at the speed of light,
    but I just remind myself that all around the world
    there are other cultures that appreciate the roundness. So it can be beautiful. I remember seeing a documentary about Trinidad and Tobago, where stretch marks were considered the "Tiger Stripes" of a real woman. Grrr!

  5. Also guilty about projecting myself as ideal and I catch myself doing that for family members, too. And I think, "Why do I do that?" I think in my mind my family's behavior is a reflection on me so I make them out to be perfect, also.

    Nice post. Beautiful picture.

    1. My kids behaviour - that's a whole other can of worms!

      I was going to go and find a nicer picture, or go take out my hair, do my eyebrows...but that kind of defeated the purpose of the post! So I just sat there before the webcam and now you know what I look like when I blog!

  6. What honesty Ingrid. I love coming to read your blog. My catch cry is "I'm built for Comfort not speed" And if your comfortable then it doesn't matter what speed you are going.

    1. I ain't going anywhere fast, baby! My pants are getting tight though...

  7. Oh another great post! I think I will do one too and link to yours if that is okay :).

    It's funny because I went through a period ,while Waldorf, of denying who I really was but since we started Radical Unschooling I realized hey, this is me and I stopped trying to be something I wasn't. I have never been more happy. You can like me or not :).

    Yes I see a post coming up,

    Thank you for your honesty!

    1. Of course it's OK! I think it is an important message to spread.

      Homeschooling has made me happier too - and certainly my kids get to be their authentic selves too! At school they tend focus on deficits - at home we love our strengths!

  8. Thanks so much for the post dear Ingrid! There are ups and downs at our place too. Extreme and frequent. I do yell at my girl ... she always drive us and her teachers crazy ... i'm so nervous to receive calls from school ... So incapable to handle diplomatics am I ... I must admit that i love my girl most when she's asleep. So peaceful!

    1. There really is nothing more peaceful than a child sleeping, is there? And we all feel guilty for admitting that!

  9. Great post. This really resonated with me.

  10. I love you Ingi! You are a great human bean!
    I thought your dog poo post was pretty honest too - embrace the chaos!
    You know, I really like an occasional swear while the kids are away doing other stuff (doesn't happen often) - fun to be uncensored and basically cranky!

  11. Ingi, I have just discovered your blog and have enjoyed reading so far. This post is wonderful! I love honest bloggers and hey we sound a lot alike ;) although I love craft ;)) Off to read some more! Tamara


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