Wednesday, August 01, 2012


You know how sometimes you read other peoples blogs or Facebook status updates and you feel a bit inadequate? Pretty pictures of coastal cottages, family togetherness, or even, errr, nature walks? Which are cool and lovely and maybe even worth Pinning, but you think to yourself "well, crap, my day wasn't like that at all!"

That's because sometimes, we only put up the good stuff. The warm and fuzzy stuff. The stuff worth sharing.

But, you know, that's not the full story. The other stuff is that sometimes you over load yourself. You say "yes" to too many things (even though they are fun and you want to do them). You work a bit too much. Your "to do" list gets a bit too long. You experience a bit of stress and heartache. You let things slide a bit too much. You get sick. You don't spend enough "good" time with your kids.

And then, one day, it will be one tiny thing that sets you off. Not a big, important thing. Maybe just an oblivious husband asking "what's for tea?" like he does Every. Single. Day.

And instead of answering "slow-roasted pork belly with apple and hasselback potatoes" like you usually do, this time you answer "I don't know what's for *tea because I woke up at 6am, spent the day with 120 school kids, drove about a billion kilometres, only just got home nearly 12 hours later and no-one has folded the socks and undies like I asked them to! So NO! I DO NOT * KNOW WHAT'S FOR TEA!!!"*

Um. Yep.

This is probably followed by some self-indulgent, but well-deserved tears and it is at this point that you know that you have overloaded yourself.

And that maybe it's time to say "no thanks, maybe later" to some invitations. Maybe it's time to hermit yourself away for a little bit. Maybe it's time to take a deep breath, have a cup of tea (instead of wine) and look after yourself a bit better. And maybe take a panadol or three (because we have progressed on from a Bex and a good lie down).

It's all about balance in the end. And sure, sometimes us mum's overload ourselves with more than we can cope with. Sometimes we just need a little vent or cry or a helping hand**. Sometimes we just to set those scales a little more in favour of ourselves instead of others.

So maybe this post will provide some balance to all my lovely feel-good posts. Because while of course those things happened (and I try really hard to see the good in our life), there are moments (hours, sometimes days) where things aren't all sunshine and roses. Moments when life just gets a bit too hard and you want the world to stop so you can get off and have a rest. Or a sav blanc.

Now that's some stuff worth sharing!

*I may or may not have used other, less family-friendly language there 
**I should put in the disclaimer that if you find yourself doing this multiple times a day (and at times, I have) that you are probably due to go to your GP and have a chat and make sure depression is not raising it's ugly, blue head


  1. I hear you! I have had a lot of days like this in the past year. Finally yesterday I caved and went to bed ALL day. I was sick but I never normally would go to bed sick or not. I found it all rather frustrating actually. I feel like I lost a day!

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. My son was logged into Khan I replied as him! Anyway my comment was:

      It's so hard to just "stop", isn't it? And yet, this morning when I was stressed about running late to a piano lesson and the dude pulling out in front of me made me cry, I thought to myself, would the world end if I just spent the day in bed?

  2. I'm sending you a huge hug right now, Ingi. Closing my eyes, zooming it down those two hours south, to you. I think this is a beautiful post. Really.

    Posts like this bring so much clarity—yes, sometimes days are messy and chaotic and sometimes you can't carry it all. And yes, yes, yes: sometimes the scales DO have to lean towards you and your own well being. You write about it so clearly, so honestly, Ingi and you're even funny about it. I loved the Bex reference :)

    It's so important to take care of yourself. I'm not far away, remember; know that I am here if you need! And if you want to be a hermit one day, while I whisk your kids off for an adventure with my kids, you know we would love that too :)

    1. Awww, thanks Helena - those words and thoughts mean a lot to me. I'm loving hermit-ing away with the kids - snuggling up against the cold wind outside. Just spending time. And maybe having a cup of tea and a panadol!

  3. I know these feelings all too well. Overload is a regular issue for me. I know I'm in trouble when I find myself wandering around the house, full of anxiety, torn between five projects, knowing I need to load kids in the car for some activity they are attending- RIGHT NOW! Yesterday I hit rock bottom and decided to drop one of the classes I'm taking online. Then I went outside and cleaned out the van. The monotonous work of cleaning brought about a feeling of order that I needed.
    --AND why do they always ask what we're having for tea, supper, lunch, etc? I hate that question! :-)

    1. Yep - I don't think I'm alone here. And I have no idea why they ask that. Every. Single. Day.

  4. Oh Ingi - I am so with you! Funnily enough, was just putting up my post "Cranky Pants" (because I have been : ) when I dropped in over here...

    Is it homeschooling? Is it Winter? Is it motherhood? Is it the late Olympic nights?
    Is it the unrelenting question of "What are we eating for breakfast???" These are obviously universal questions LOL

    Aaaargh. Just had a cuppa and a biscuit - hope your days since you've posted this have improved! If not, try tea!
    Hugs to you,

    1. Hey Tracey - Blogger spammed you! Anyway, I retrieved you from the garbage bin and put you right back in the comments!

      Indeed, a couple of nice quiet days at home, hanging with the kids, doing a bit of science and craft, and the world looks like a different place!

      I will have tea regardless though - it makes EVERYTHING look better!

  5. Ha - naughty Blogger! I came back and couldn't see my comment and just thought "Typical! Just how the day is going LOL"
    Thanks for saving me - I needed it!

    Cheers to tea!

  6. Though I am not a 'homeschool Mum' or even a parent, I am still feeling your 'pain' right now, as I am suffering from 'burnout' at work, as well as the nastiest bloody headache one can get. Grrr!!! Nothing a bit of 'venting' or even crying won't fix!!!

    Night Owl


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