The trouble with labels

I've had in interesting week in the interweb. Because I like to learn and because it's important to have a virtual space to hang out with like-minds, I belong to a few forums on giftedness and also homeschooling and unschooling. These forums have been invaluable to me working my way through the minefield of figuring out this parenting/home education gig - others who have BTDT (I am so up on the acronyms!) who provide insight and experience. I don't necessarily have to agree with their approach, but their thoughts, ideas and experiences provide food for thought as I delve into previously un-charted territory. And the online community can be so terribly supportive (as the wonderful comments on this blog are testament to)!

However, this last week, a closed group on unschooling on Facebook had an interesting "discussion" that left me feeling very unsettled. Because it is closed, I won't quote directly, however, the crux of the discussion was that the word gifted had no place in unschooling communities.

The conversation started innocently enough - someone had mentioned that their child appeared to have the traits of giftedness, and that was one reason why they were considering homeschooling and they were also interested in the concepts of "unschooling". Some comments were made that "all children are gifted". This statement bugs me, because it shows a lack of understanding of what the word "gifted" (or specially, intellectually gifted) means. In the spirit of sharing my hard-earned wisdom (and Certificate of Gifted Education), I replied that whilst all children, and indeed adults, have "strengths" not all can be considered "gifted" and that for gifts to turn into "talents" all the stars and moons have to align (with regard to learning and home environments, motivation, perserverence, organisation, etc).

This was not well taken by some on the group. Despite my own and others best efforts to (calmly and factually) explain giftedness and why it was important, there were several people who repeatedly claimed that giftedness was a construct of the education system, where children are compared to each other and that the term was offensive and implied everyone else was of lesser value and as such, had no place in a group that was dedicated to unschooling.

I know the word "gifted" or even it's more specific phrase "intellectually gifted" causes issues because it implies that some rare people have been "given" something that others don't have.

I totally get that unschooling (and it's related term "deschooling") mean we can lose a lot of those "education-speak" concepts of comparisons and ranking and age-step grades (bring it on, baby!).

I do know that we are all special in our own way and we each have unique potential. We are all different (wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same?).

Some people find the term "gifted" disturbing - but identifying a student as gifted does not mean they are of greater worth or value than any other children - any more than identifying learning difficulties or disabilities means they are of less worth. It is an issue of understanding need. Children who are intellectually gifted have fundamentally different cognitive and learning characteristics. Recognising that is very important in a school setting. But I would argue that it is also important in a homeschool setting and continues to be important even if you follow an unschool path. Same as if my child was on the autism spectrum or had hearing impairments - they would be fundamentally different, and would require specific interventions.

Unschooling is a deliberate casting off of "schooling" and artificial, age-based curriculum. It is viewing education as learning, and giving children the freedom to learn as much as they want about what is important to them. I will agree that so much of the gifted literature is focussed on the school system and providing appropriate education for gifted kids. So I get why in the world of unschooling, the word gifted might be construed as unnecessary, because it is not about IQ, grade levels and achievements, and all kids get appropriate education.

However, to me, knowing my children are gifted (and I won't even venture into the why levels of giftedness are important as well) is important for understanding my children as a whole. Their giftedness impacts on their thought processes, their ideas, their emotions, their social interactions. It is not necessarily about knowing they are "smarter" than other kids . It is not knowing that they should be working several year levels above their age peers (although it did explain a lot when they were at school!).

Understanding giftedness explains why they ask sooooo many questions. Why life is intense (no, it's not just my abysmal coping skills). Why they see the world differently from so many other people. Why it is difficult for them to make friends. Even if we cast aside grade levels, testing and achievement and comparisons, my kids are still "gifted" and understanding that helps makes sense of my kids and the ensuing chaos!

Unschooling I believe can go a long way to allowing all children reach their potential - in a safe, secure, loving environment. And that is a fantastic thing and should be encouraged! But gifted is who my kids (and me - I said it!) are. And it allows us to understand our thinking and our emotions better. And that is a fantastic thing too.

So, after some thought, I left the group. One click of a button and they were gone. Ultimately, I didn't want to hang around in a place where I felt I had to censor my words or not be my authentic self. I want to spend time (cybernetically speaking) with people who "get" me and my kids. I didn't want to spend time with people who seemed to be very closed-minded about things that I have spent a lot of time and energy investigating. I don't even want to go into their thoughts on ADHD!

I don't need the angst. I do need the support and understanding of those who have either been through the same hoops or who are at least willing to be open-minded. If that means I am not an unschooler, then so be it. I will continue on our merry way to embrace natural learning opportunities by choosing eclectic resources, both formal and informal. I will continue to recognise that learning is not the same as education and certainly not the same as curriculum. I will continue to encourage my children's strengths and passion. I will keep trying to provide what my GIFTED children need to flourish and grow and learn. I'll keep learning and reading and finding my own way.

Now, if you excuse me, I have to go pick some labels for this post before I publish it!