Sunday, March 30, 2014

Stay awake...

Stay awake, don't rest your head
Don't lie down upon your bed
While the moon drifts in the skies
Stay awake, don't close your eyes

It's been a while between posts, and while I'm sure you are eagerly expecting another enthralling post about all the wonderful homeschool things we've been doing, you are not going to get that. No, instead I am about to overshare yet again.

I love that Disney song "Stay Awake" from Mary Poppins. I used to sing it to my babes, back when they didn't sleep. Oh, the good old days, when overtired babies refused to shut those long lashes and just Go the *(&* to Sleep (don't click the link if you're easily offended and for my overseas readers - Noni Hazelhurst in the video is a legend in Australian children's programming, having hosted Play School and read hundreds of books to millions of preschoolers, which makes the video all the more hilarious).

Well, this last couple of weeks (and to a certain extent, the last 6 months) I have been that overtired baby. I will be dog tired, head off to bed, lie down and......nothing. No sleep is forthcoming. Instead I toss, turn, toss again, turn again, feel tingling from adrenaline literally pumping through my body and into my finger tips, get jumpy legs, and feel the tidal wave of heat so that I am soaked through my jammies. All the while, hubby snores soundly. 

I'll do this routine for at least a couple of hours, get mightily sick of it, get up, wee, have a glass of milk, listen to meditation tapes, sing "Stay Awake" to myself, go lie on the lounge under the fan or if I'm really desperate, turn on the aircon. And then, if I'm lucky, I'll finally fall asleep somewhere between 2 and 4am.

It. Is. Killing. Me. I'm exhausted and I'm sure now my subconscious is just joining in on the fun as I get ready for bed wondering if tonight, just for something different, I may just fall asleep without any fuss, but instead it fusses and carries on and panics and makes sleep just that more elusive.

Yes, I've tried magnesium supplements, chamomile tea, warm milk, relaxation techniques - all that shit and still BING! Wide awake except freaking exhausted.

For sure it is part of the joy of being a woman that is peri-menopause. And I know I'm only 44, but I think we can safely blame it on those super-effective genes that my nanna passed down from her to mum and my mum to me. The same ones that gave us all grey hair in our teens and a voice that you can scratch down a chalkboard. 

What the hell would you know, Steven C. Goldberg????

And look at all the other lovely symptoms I've been having:
  • mood swings (ya think?)
  • migraines
  • sweating/hot flashes in the daytime too
  • forgetfulness
  • lack of concentration (I'll let you know when I'm driving, OK?)
  • weight gain
  • irregular periods
  • heavy periods and clotting (I did warn you I was going to overshare)
And do you know how long this shite goes on for? Do you??? On average FOUR to SIX fucking years!!!! Seriously?!

So as my little girl faces up to a LIFETIME of periods, pap smears, and (maybe, but not too soon, OK?) pregnancies, I'll not forget to remind her of peri-menopause to join in with all the other fun P words. I swear I'm coming back in the next life as a dog - a boy dog!

Meanwhile, I would give just about anything for a decent night's sleep...

Though the world is fast asleep
Though your pillow's soft and deep
You're not sleepy as you seem
Stay awake, don't nod and dream
Stay awake, don't nod and dream

Anyone else suffering the joys of perimenopause?
Hit me with your best insomnia remedies (I reckon
 I've tried most of them, but bring them on anyway)!


  1. Gee, sounds like fun..not!! Sounds like the pits. Hope you get some great suggestions.

  2. ((((Hugs))))
    I had a year of insomnia like that. 2-4 am. At first I tried to stay in bed and fall back to sleep, but after a few frustrated months of that, decided to start getting up and doing something. Anything. So that I'd be really tired the next night. I don't know if it was ultimately that or something else, but I'm sleeping normally again. Hope you do too, soon. In the meantime, any chance for daytime naps?

  3. Been there, blech. I would wake feeling like I'd been struck by lightning. Nearly every night for several years I'd crawl downstairs and pass out on the couch. Going on thyroid meds seemed to stop the panic attacks but the night sweats live on, even now that I'm officially post menopausal. I had a mental routine that basically was a way to divert my attention from all the discomfort.

    Anyway, hang in. Time helps. I feel for you.

  4. I can so relate to all of this! And it sucks big time. I think the other half is really enjoying it though ... especially those stay away or I will hit you with something heavy times ... rofl!

  5. Don't worry, I've been going through the excessive sweating part of it as well (amongst other things) and most definitely feeling like life is passing me buy. Let's hope it passes.


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